Biblical Forgiveness: Teaching Outline

1. Biblical Forgiveness has an honest reporting system: You violated my boundary: I am me and you are you.

(James 5:12) But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.

2. Biblical Forgiveness requires an exact accounting system: I am responsible for my thoughts feelings and emotions and have full control and responsibility for my actions and reactions and you are accountable for yours.

A. Abuse:

ABUSERS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE AND INDEBTED FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

B. Authority:

I have a biblical command to forgive because I have been forgiven: It is still my choice as to whether or not to obey that command.

3. Biblical Forgiveness (Reconciliation?)

NOTE: Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation:

Biblical forgiveness is the debtee's alone to give. Reconciliation is when the debtor chooses to accept the gift of forgiveness and thereby has his account cleared.

Note: Nothing clarifies boundaries more than forgiveness. To forgive others means letting them off the hook, or canceling a debt they owe you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge that you want, it keeps you tied to that person forever. Refusing to forgive a family member is one of the main reasons people are stuck for years, unable to separate from their dysfunctional families. They still want something from them. It is much better to receive grace from God, who has something to give, and to forgive those who have no money to pay their debt. This ends your suffering, because it ends the wish for repayment that is never forthcoming and that makes your heart sick because your hope is deferred (Prov. 13:12). If you do not forgive, you are demanding something your offender does not choose to give, even if it is only confession of what he did. This “ties” him to you and ruins boundaries. Cloud, Henry. Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition (p. 137). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

4. Biblical Forgiveness Conceptualized

(in light of Christ payment by his ((person (strength)).

A. Undeserved

B. Paid in Full

Your willingness to forgive is directly related to your remembering how much God has forgiven you. Viars, Stephen. Putting Your Past in Its Place (p. 54). Harvest House Publishers. Kindle Edition.

C. Paid for good

NOTE: Forgiveness can occur without repentance on the part of the guilty because we can forgive it in the person of Christ.

(2Corinthians 2:10) To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;

We can forgive anyone because of what Christ did on the cross. We were the guilty and God was the offended. While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Jesus trusted the righteous judge to do what He could do.

(Romans 12:2) Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.

D. It's in the imperative language (Why do I do it?)

(Colossians 3:13) Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

- (commands us to do) Why command it? Because God knows what is good for each of us.

5. Biblical Forgiveness's Method

A. Not self-serving alone but for Christ's sake. Pure forgiveness is not self-serving.

B. Higher Honor

(Ephesians 4:32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

C. How do I do it? Even as Christ: willing to bear the sins of others and still believe the best about them. (They know not what they do)

6. Biblical Forgiveness's Finality:

We can give forgiveness as a debtor could forgive the debt and release people from debtor’s prison. In this Bible illustration of forgiveness: someone else would have had to pay the debt. So, in forgiveness, the guilty do not have to pay the debt but we have the right to release anyone from the debt they owe us, and we can trust God to repay them if they are guilty. We can also trust that God has repaid us because Christ died for us and forgave us, we can forgive anyone.

(Matthew 18:21-34) 21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. 23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. 28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took [him] by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. 29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

7. Biblical Forgiveness's Continuation:

NOTE-Vengeance is God's: The justice of God is a satisfactory answer to adjudication of the transgression. Give it to God.

(Romans 12:14-21)14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. 16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirsts, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil but overcome evil with good.

-Giving up the perceived right to retaliate (limit our liberty) (lay not this sin to their charge-Jesus) Vengeance is mine saith, Lord.

A. Forgiveness is giving up our right to retaliate judicially. It is a judicial term and can be performed when we exercise faith that God who is the only righteous judge who knows all things can exact perfect judgment.

B. Forgiving others this way can also be especially helpful when loved ones have passed away and there is no hope of reconciliation.

Quote- When you forgive, you release two people and one of them is you.

C. Not giving up our right to retaliate is living in malice: with a desire to injure others constantly. This kind of living is characterized by the flesh and is subcategorized with “pre-Christ living’

(Titus 3:3) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

8. Biblical Forgiveness’s Boundary

Even if forgiveness and reconciliation have occurred there must be a clear line of delineation allowed for the healing of the hurt and the potential need to nurture the pain of a wound biblically. All parties must deal in the truth of reality that pain hurts even if it is healing. The debtee and the debtor may have to have an agreement where proper boundaries are drawn temporarily while trust and treaties are built but there is a danger in dissolving relationships in permanence. It is true that there may be drawn a treaty of mutual respect and consent when an offense was so large that involves an elongated period of time to lapse before the boundaries would ever meet again but it is an unhealthy coping mechanism and bad habit to permanently delete all hurtful people out of your life forever without having ever reevaluating the relationships’ boundary lines again. This builds the habit of avoidance. An even better solution would be if the hurt were not of a physical nature and the two parties may quickly, allow Christ’s love to permeate their hearts and draw them each together in love. Each party is still responsible for their own boundary markers, their own thoughts, feelings and emotions. Each party is also fully accountable to God for their own heart’s sake. There is a tendency to let a root of bitterness creep up again over the same offenses that has already been dealt with. This type of consistent forgiveness requires God’s help in opening a new gift of grace each time the wound is opened. Failing to go to God is the only way to fail of the grace of God. He desires an opening of a gift of his grace each and every time the wound is opened back up either by memory or resentment.

(Hebrews 12:14-15) 14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: 15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled;